Jordan Gray says that the practice of loving ourselves is a lot simpler than we’ve been led to believe it is.
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We see so many memes and articles and inspirational Instagram posts, all telling us the benefits of daily self love. So… where do you start?
It takes more than looking in the mirror and repeating those three little words (though that’s not a terrible place to start). In self-love, just like in relationships, actions speak louder than words. So here’s a few ways to take action on your solo love life.
Wake Up On the Right Side of Bed
90+% of humans are waking up incorrectly.
If the first thing you do is grab your phone; you are setting yourself up for a bad start.
When you wake up and vault yourself straight into your work day; you spend the entire day in a reactionary state. You are only reacting to the high stress situations you find yourself in, instead of choosing to take control of your time and your day.
Wake up slowly. Stretch. Cuddle with your partner (or yourself). Drink water. Have breakfast. Go to the gym/exercise. Find a routine that you enjoy and don’t settle for anything less. Even if you have to wake up earlier to accomplish a slower start, it’s completely worth it. You’ll feel much more capable to take on your day and you’ll make yourself feel more important and well taken care of.
Do Work You Love
If you hate your job, you’ll hate your life. Simple as that.
I wish I could sugar coat it. I wish I could tell you that plugging away at an office job you despise will eventually pay off. But I can’t. If you’ve been waiting for a sign to quit, please take this as my blessing.
Go, find something you enjoy. It doesn’t have to be your life’s passion (although I highly recommend it), but it should be something that doesn’t make you groan at the thought of having to wake up. Something that you aren’t late to every morning because you don’t respect it enough. Something that doesn’t make you call in sick on a regular basis just so you don’t have to face it.
If you work a job that you need to take vacations from, you probably shouldn’t come back from that vacation.
I write (articles and books) and I coach people (individuals and couples). There is no amount of money you could pay me to get me to stop doing these things. I actually have to make a concerted effort to keep myself away from writing too much, because that’s how strong of a pull it has for me. Find something like that. Find something that you can’t not do, and then find a way to be paid for it.
Say ‘No’
Don’t be afraid to set boundaries.
If there’s something you don’t want to do, don’t do it. Don’t be afraid to turn people down for fear that they won’t like you. And I’m not talking about spreading yourself too thin. It should be a given that you shouldn’t take on more events than you can handle, but I mean even when you just don’t feel like doing something. It’s okay to turn it down.
Parties. Projects. Outings. Baby showers. Just say no. Have a bath instead.
The people who should be in your life will understand.
Spend Time With People You Like
Sounds simple enough, but I know so many people who complain about that certain friend. Someone they feel obligated to spend time with because they’ve known them forever.
Well… I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to cut that person out of your life.
If someone brings more negativity and frustration into your life than anything else, it’s time to cut them loose. You should surround yourself with like-minded folks who you feel inspired by.
And this goes for anyone. Friends, family members, romantic partners. If you don’t feel like the best version of yourself around them… time to say goodbye. Some people say “But you can’t fire your family members!”, to which I say “Bullshit. I know many people who have successfully done that, and they’re better off for it.”
Honour and respect yourself. The people who are meant to stay in your life will understand.
Be Kind To Yourself
This is the toughest one.
Treat yourself with respect. Acknowledge how far you’ve come in your life. Celebrate your wins.
Never say anything in your head if you wouldn’t say the same to your closest friend. Stay body positive and love yourself in your current physical state. It may not be your ideal body, but it’s the one who has gotten you this far and you should appreciate that.
And lastly, give yourself time.
Everyone is in such a rush these days. But you don’t need to accomplish all your goals tomorrow. Hack away at them, day by day. Give yourself the space to enjoy the journey. Remember that life isn’t some far away horizon where you have 2.5 kids and a picket fence. It’s happening now. Breathe it in.
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If you enjoyed this post then you might also love:
How To Finally Get Over Your Ex (Even If It Feels Impossible)
The 5 Best Things To Do When You’re Hurting
How To Overhaul Your Entire Life In 5 Easy Steps
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You can read more of Jordan’s best writing at JordanGrayConsulting.com
Photo courtesy of DollarPhotoClub.com
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